To be your best self, you have to protect your energy. There is no argument to be had against this. People or things that interfere with your peace should be excluded from your happiness. This may sound like the beginning of one of BET’s “Being Mary Jane” episodes but it’s true. When I was planning my wedding, I had to figure out how to best deal with this. With everyone gathering around you and galloping about being a part of the festivities of love, it can sometimes be hard to decipher who will still be there when the show is over. If you are a bride or a friend reading this blog, take notes.
Upon engagement, my husband and I had to compose a list of family and friends. If you’ve had a wedding, you know this is hard. Then, you have to decide who gets invited to the bachelorette party and the bridal shower. Trust me, you can’t invite nor do you want everyone to come to these intimate events. Better yet, some individuals even have to plan their own showers and bachelorette parties. The whole shebang can get pretty complex. Through all of this, you’ll want folks at your most closely acquainted events to be the ones who are confidants during your darkest hours and cheerer’s on your brightest morning.
I experienced all of that and more. My bridal shower was absolutely beautiful, and I cried the whole time while being amongst tried and true friends and family. Let me say it again, TRIED and TRUE friends. They came from all over the United States to share this moment of love with me. They came bearing memories of triumph that we’d shared together. This is what a bridal shower is about, not the gifts. It’s the reaffirmation that your tribe is here for you whenever you need them. It’s a warm feeling. When I was opening my gifts, I told stories of each lady in the room. One of those stories included my play mom, Mrs.Washington and her daughter, Nia Washington. One night and year two of Alex and my relationship, I was scheduled to babysit her daughter. I showed up in tears. I was distraught. I whaled to Mrs.Washington, “I’m done with him and I don’t know what I’m going to do.” She replied, “Well, tonight, you’re gonna babysit.” While I was telling this story, the room at my bridal shower was filled with laughs! I think she secretly knew I wasn’t done with Alex and that we would get married! Today, her daughter is 18
and going to college. She went from consoling me while I was babysitting her to becoming a beautiful young woman who is a huge part of my life!
Sometimes, it is not necessarily the person. It’s the story that comes with the person that provides the best energy! You will be forced in and out of relationships with people your whole life. Guard your peace. Make sure the people in the room with you are on the same page of your novel as you are.
It is safe to say that planning my wedding taught me that I don’t have to yearn for the friend to reciprocate gestures. If they want to be there, they will and vice versa. I can share my world with those I love. I can harp on the memories that we each share.
To see more of my bridal shower, click here!
All photography should be credited to Lauren Thomas Photography.